Pain, Grief, Anger, Hatred –
Dealing with Emotions After the Death of the Bibas Children

In the following article, Islamic scholar and journalist Carmen Shamsianpur addresses Christians who support Israel, offering advice on how to deal with the shocking news of the death of the Bibas children and the grief in Israel.

I observed very different ways of dealing with the news from Israel and especially with the death of the Bibas children. Some followed the pictures on social media every minute, identified with them very closely, hoped for a miracle until the very end, and then experienced an emotional inferno. Others don’t know what to do with the name “Kfir Bibas”. So how can we find a good way to deal with the situation in Israel?

I think it is right and important to be informed and affected by events. I myself am trying to learn as much as I can about the stories of the hostages, not just the Bibas family. Because we are witnessing a new version of both the devastating hatred of Jews and the indifference and mechanisms of repression comparable to those of the Nazi era. In a way, we are witnesses. Too much distance, even if it serves the purpose of self-protection, is dangerous.

At the same time, dealing with the subject can turn into mental self-flagellation, depression, hatred of the perpetrators, and an attitude of reproach toward God. These are all warning signs.

What can we do? Here are some suggestions for the coming weeks:

Read the Bible and proclaim the Word of God about the situation. God has a way out. “Return, you captives, to the city that shelters you,” says Zechariah 9. “You have not hoped in vain. Today I promise you: You will be rewarded twice for what you have suffered!”

I too have wrestled with God as to how Yarden Bibas can ever be rewarded twice. The answer: Job died “in old age after a rich and fulfilled life. The key was not that he had “seven sons and three daughters” after the death of his children, but a personal encounter with God. We can pray for that.

If it’s getting you down emotionally, set times to go without the news. Spend time in prayer and talk to your spiritual leaders about it. Don’t feel bad just because you are living and enjoying your everyday life at the same time. Take the example of Israel, which is not sinking into depression despite all the trauma. Look at Yuval Raphael, who had to play dead for many hours on October 7 under the bodies of her dying friends in order to survive. The amateur singer will represent Israel in the Eurovision Song Contest. When she takes the stage, she radiates life in full bloom.

The pain of Ariel and Kfir Bibas must not obscure the fact that at the same time God saved Israel from another major attack. Huge bombs exploded prematurely because the terrorists had set their clocks wrong. Parallel to the bombings, suicide bombings and kidnappings were apparently planned. None of it worked. Let us worship God for this and ask for more miracles so that all the hostages will be returned and Hamas will no longer exist.

As you mourn and weep with Israel, let your Israeli friends know. Be someone who gives comfort, not someone who seeks comfort. Tell them that you are weeping with them, thinking of them, and praying for them at this difficult time. Tell them that the God of Israel has not forgotten them and is fighting for them.

If the situation in Israel doesn’t touch you, do a Bible study on God’s love for Israel and spend time in God’s presence. You are missing the center of His heart if you don’t share that love with Him. Be sure to sign up for the March of Nations in Israel this year, especially if you’ve never been and don’t plan to. It can be a key to your whole life. In the words of a Yemeni monarch, you should be able to say from your heart: “God loves Israel and will never see it perish!” (2 Chr 9:8).

Don’t dehumanise the Palestinians. I have even read the term “subhuman”. Hate makes you, as Jobst Bittner said, “a prisoner of the Hamas system of death”. Palestinians are not all monsters. Hate is not in their genes. They are a misguided, politically abused people. Assuming a spiritual continuity of the Palestinians with the Philistines, God says he will “break their arrogance” and “put an end to their abominable sacrifices”. But: “The surviving Philistines may count themselves among My people and will be considered a clan in the tribe of Judah” (Zech 9:6f). What a vision! If you think there are no Palestinians who stand up against hatred, look at Ahmad Mansour and Hamza Howidy in Germany and Ahmed Fouad al-Khatib in the USA.

Now that Hamas has been disarmed, the first thing the Palestinian people need is certainly not a state of their own, nor resettlement, but re-education, similar to the denazification of Nazi Germany. This requires nations and people who will stay there for decades, as the US and others did in Germany. So far, Germany has not seen itself in this role, but has been and continues to be a major and knowing financier of terror propaganda. While money has been channelled into terror, the education system has been directly funded, despite the known antisemitic incitement and glorification of terror from kindergarten age. The organisation IMPACT-se has regularly examined all textbooks and published its reports. They have been ignored. The new German government will have to be judged on whether it continues to do so. Let us pray and be citizens who care and speak out.

The call to register for the March of the Nations is of course open to everyone!

Let’s be together in Jerusalem this May!